Why the EPPP is bad for English football

7 Mar

You’ve probably heard about a new scheme which football league clubs were blackmailed into agreeing to (the Premier League threatened to reduce their funding ig they didn’t) in October last year. The scheme is called the Elite Player Performance Plan.

Included in this plan is the scrapping for the rule meaning a player under the age of 17 cannot join a club more than hour away. But the major aspect is that Premier League clubs will never have to pay more than £100,000 for a young player from a league club, and in the vast majority of cases much much less.

Whilst some argue that having the best young English players in premier league clubs academies will benefit the English national team, we should look at the longer term picture.

1) League clubs spend considerable amounts of time and money bring through players.

2) These players are signed for a minescule fee, as little as £3,000 by premier league clubs before the players even reach the age of 17.

3) The league clubs relealise that it is no longer viable to run an acedemy as any player potentially good enough to break into the first team will be taken on by a premier league club before they have the chance to do so.

4) League clubs stop running academies, the supply of cheap talent to premier league clubs is lost.

5) Premier league clubs go abroad to find their cheap talent.

6) League clubs loan in young foreign players signed on the cheap by premeir league clubs in place of players who would previosuly have come up from their youth team.

7) There are less Englsih players throughout the leagues.

The Worst Arsenal XI … According to Twitter

25 Jan

(Click image to enlarge)

Goalkeeper: Richard Wright – He signed a five-year contract and was signed as manager Arsène Wenger envisaged him as a long-term successor to David Seaman and also as a more experienced competitor for the previous second choice goalkeeper Alex Manninger (who soon left the club). He made his debut against Derby County on 29 September, but despite an injury to Seaman which gave him an extended run in the team, his season soon fell apart. He punched the ball into his own net in a 4–2 home defeat to Charlton Athletic and then limped off with injury in a UEFA Champions League match against Deportivo La Coruna. Wright later slipped to third-choice behind youth goalkeeper Stuart Taylor and only played FA Cup matches for the remainder of the season, although Seaman replaced him for the final, which Arsenal won 2–0 against Chelsea. He made his last Arsenal appearance on the final day of the 2001–02 season, a 4–3 victory over Everton. He was substituted in the 85th minute for Taylor, which gave both goalkeepers enough appearances to qualify for a Premier League winners’ medal that season. Wright made 22 appearances for Arsenal in total.

Right Back: Carl Jenkinson -  Jenkinson signed for Arsenal from Charlton Athletic in June 2011, having spent much of 2010 on loan to non league clubs Eastbourne Borough and Welling, for an undisclosed fee thought to be around £1 million.
On 16 August 2011, Jenkinson made his Arsenal competitive debut in the final qualifying round of the UEFA Champions League against Udinese, coming on as a second half substitute, replacing the injured Johan Djourou early in the second half. Jenkinson made his Premier League debut against Liverpool on 20 August 2011, starting at right-back. He kept his place in the team, playing in the second leg against Udinese and then at Old Trafford against Manchester United in the Premier League, although he was sent off later in the game for a foul on Javier Hernández. He also assisted Robin van Persie to score Arsenal’s second in the game in a 8–2 loss against Manchester United. He was also torn to shreds by Shrewsbury Town in the Carling Cup 3rd round in 2011.

Centre Back: Gilles Grimandi -  Grimandi began his professional career with AS Monaco in 1990 and made his first-team debut in 1991 against AS Nancy in the French top division. His career briefly interrupted by French military service, he went on to make 67 appearances and score 3 goals for the club, mostly as a centre back. He helped the club reach both a UEFA Champions League and a UEFA Cup semifinal and won the league title in 1996–97.
The following season, Grimandi left to join his former manager Arsène Wenger at Arsenal, making his debut in Elland Road against Leeds United, and helped achieve The Double in his first season. He made 113 league appearances as a midfielder, centre back, and right wingback, winning a second Double in his final season (2001–02) with the club. Was called the new Gus Caesar, the Arsenal defender immortalised in Fever Pitch as the worst defender in the club’s history at the beginning of his career, but improved later on once he played as a midfielder. But is for his defensive displays he is included in the Worst Arsenal XI.

Centre Back: Igors Stepanovs- Asides froms havings unnecessarsy S’s ats thes ends osf hiss namess,this is why he is included in this team, in 2000, legendary Arsenal captain Tony Adams was injured, prompting Arsène Wenger to sign Stepanovs for a transfer fee of £1.35m. Stepanovs started the season well, scoring a goal for Arsenal in a 2-1 League Cup defeat against Ipswich Town. His playing time grew until a match against Manchester United, when both sides were battling for the Premier League title. Arsenal lost this game 6-1 and their chances of winning the title were hit. After this disappointing performance, Stepanovs played only once again that season, and failed to make a single appearance during the next two seasons. Overall, he played just 17 times in 3 years.

Left back:Oleh Luzhny-  *Technically a right back*  but… Luzhny signed for English club Arsenal in the summer of 1999 after impressing manager Arsène Wenger in Kyiv’s clashes with Arsenal in the Champions League. He was signed as cover for Lee Dixon, although he was unable to fully displace the England international. While never a regular starter with the Gunners (the young Spanish-Cameroonian Lauren was signed a year later as Dixon’s long-term replacement), Luzhny still played 110 matches in four years at the club, either at right back or, less frequently, at centre back, and even captained the team once in the League Cup. In the 2001–02 season he won a double (the FA Premier League and the FA Cup) with Arsenal. His last match for the Gunners was the 2003 FA Cup Final (which Arsenal won, beating Southampton 1–0), one of Luzhny’s best performances for the club. Luzhny signed for newly-promoted Wolverhampton Wanderers in the summer of 2003. He spent a single season there, but only made ten appearances for the side and was released by Wolves in the summer of 2004 following their relegation from the Premier League.

Wing: Eddie McGoldrick-  McGoldrick moved to Arsenal after Crystal Palace’s relegation from the Premier League in 1993, linking up with Wright once again, and made his debut in the Charity Shield against Manchester United on 7 August 1993. However, his time there was less successful; after playing 38 games in the 1993-94 season, including a substitute appearance in Arsenal’s European Cup Winners’ Cup final win over Parma, he was less of a regular the following season, and in 1995-96 he played only one match. McGoldrick took Arsenal corner kicks with an unorthodox ‘looping’ style, by lofting the ball high into the air before it dropped in the penalty area. In all he played 57 times for Arsenal, scoring one goal.

Central Midfield: Ian Selley-  Selley joined Arsenal in 1990 as a trainee and won a South East Counties League title medal and Floodlit Cup Winners medal in his first season. He made his first-team debut at the age of eighteen in a 1-0 defeat against Blackburn Rovers in September 1992. Selley played nine games for Arsenal in the 1992-93 season and fifteen games in the 1993-94 season. Injuries to several key players gave Selley his most famous appearance for the club, when he was the youngest player on the field in Arsenal’s 1994 European Cup Winners’ Cup Final victory over Parma. He had previously been a substitute in Arsenal’s 1993 League Cup final victory over Sheffield Wednesday, the first trophy in their Cup double that season. He scored two goals for Arsenal, both coming in the Cup Winners’ Cup. His first came against Standard Liege in 1993/94[1] and his second against Brondby the following season. In February 1995 Selley broke his leg playing against Leicester City, which forced him out for most of the 1996-97 season, playing just once under new manager Wenger as a late substitute against Chelsea. Despite reports that he would be a part of Arsène Wenger’s new side he was sold to Fulham in 1997 for £500,000, after playing 42 games for Arsenal. His career has slowly declined since and he now plays for Chertsey Town in the Southern League Division One Central.

Central Midfield: John Jensen-  After scoring in Denmark’s 2–0 1992 European Championship final win over Germany, Jensen was signed by George Graham for Arsenal to succeed Leeds United bound David Rocastle in central midfield, after a bid to sign Geoff Thomas from Crystal Palace failed.
He was part of the 1992–93 side that won the FA Cup and League Cup in the same season, the 1993–94 side that won the European Cup Winners Cup (although he missed the final through injury) and the 1994–95 side that lost in the Cup-Winners Cup final. He was one of only 12 foreign players to play on the opening weekend of the FA Premier League.
He played 132 games for Arsenal, but he is chiefly remembered for the cult hero status he earned, somewhat akin to Perry Groves before him. No matter how hard Jensen tried (and, for a defensive midfielder, he tried exceptionally hard), he could not score a goal. The Arsenal fans came up with a song, “We’ll be there when Jensen scores!” and by 1994, Jensen’s search for a goal was such a cult cause that whenever he got the ball, no matter whether he was inside his own penalty area or bearing down on goal, the Arsenal fans would implore him to “Shooooot!”.

Jensen finally got his first goal after 98 matches, on a cold and wet afternoon against Queens Park Rangers on 31 December 1994. Arsenal were losing 1–0, when Jensen picked the ball up just inside the penalty area near the left-hand corner, about 16 yards from goal. The crowd gave the obligatory bellow of “shoot!”, and Jensen complied, curling a shot into the net, prompting wild celebration from the Arsenal fans. The fans sang Johnny Jensen, Johnny, Johnny Jensen for the rest of the evening. However, a defensive error and then a goalkeeping error from Vince Bartram resulted in Arsenal eventually losing the match 3–1. The goal is still remembered though and one can still see t-shirts around Highbury saying I saw John Jensen score. During the years he spent at Arsenal, John Jensen actually managed to score two goals in 21 games for the Danish national team: one against Albania in 1993 and one against Belgium in 1994.
A few months later, it was revealed that Jensen’s transfer to Highbury was at least partly motivated by George Graham’s involvement with agent Rune Hauge, who had been giving Graham backhanders in exchange for signing players he represented. The first player involved in this ‘bung’ scandal was Norwegian defender Pål Lydersen, and the second was Jensen. Graham was sacked from his job two months after the story broke, and he was subsequently banned from football for 12 months. Jensen played on for 18 months before he left Highbury in the summer of 1996, with only the solitary goal against QPR to his name from 138 competitive appearances for the club. He rejoined his old club, Brøndby IF.

Wing: Jimmy Carter-  Jimmy Carter (born November 9, 1965 in Hammersmith, London) is an English former footballer. During his career, he played for Millwall, Liverpool, Arsenal, Oxford United, Portsmouth and then Millwall for a second spell.
Millwall bought Jimmy in 1987 for £15,000 from Queens Park Rangers, where he made his Football League debut in a 0-0 draw with Oldham at The Den. He quickly established himself in the Millwall first team and was an integral part of the team which gained Millwall promotion to the top flight in 1987-88, the first time ever in Millwall’s 100 year history.
Carter was part of a side that included players such as Teddy Sheringham, Tony Cascarino and Terry Hurlock. Millwall made a strong start to the 1988/89 season where they remained in the top four for much of the season before a poor finish saw them slip to tenth, their lowest position all season.
Jimmy’s reputation was growing and in 1991, Kenny Dalglish signed him for Liverpool for a fee of £800,000. Unfortunately Dalglish resigned shortly after and within a year Jimmy found himself returning to London where he signed for Arsenal, a club he supported as a young boy. Arsenal paid £500,000 for Carter.
He spent 3 and a half years at Highbury and during his time there, Arsenal won the FA Cup and the League Cup in 1993 and in 1994 went on to win the UEFA Cup Winners’ Cup. However he was very much a bit-part player making only 25 League appearances for the Gunners, and did not feature in any of the major finals Arsenal contested that time.
In the summer of 1995, with Graham having left the club for disciplinary reasons in the February and new manager Bruce Rioch rebuilding the team, Carter then signed for Portsmouth, where he spent three years. In 1998, Jimmy re-signed for Millwall, but did not have the same impact as his first spell there. He was forced to retire from football at the end of the 1998/99 season as a result of a serious back injury.
Carter has recently appeared for Arsenal in the Masters Cup Football competition for veteran players shown live on Sky Sports.

Forward: Francis Jeffers-  Born in Liverpool, Merseyside, Jeffers began his career at Everton, making his debut as a half-time substitute (for Dave Watson) on Boxing Day 1997 at Old Trafford at the age of 16 years 335 days. Showing a lot of early promise and talent, he scored 20 goals in 60 matches for the Toffees. However, after a much publicised row with manager Walter Smith over a pay rise, he was dropped from the team for half a season and subsequently rarely performed as well.
His performances had caught the eye of Arsène Wenger and he signed for Arsenal in 2001 for £8million – making him one of the club’s most expensive signings yet.
However, Jeffers did not live up to the “fox in the box” tag, and his time at Arsenal was dogged by injury. He was forced out of the side by the form of fellow strikers like Thierry Henry and Sylvain Wiltord. Arsenal won three trophies during Jeffers’ spell at the club. However, Jeffers did not pick up any medals. Arsenal won the FA Cup in 2002 and 2003 but Jeffers was left out of both match day squads. This was despite him contributing to their 2003 triumph by scoring three goals en route to the final, two against Farnborough and one against Chelsea. He also started the semi-final against Sheffield United. Arsenal also won the 2001-02 Premier League title, but Jeffers only played 6 league games that season, meaning he was not eligible for a medal. His final appearance for Arsenal came in the 2003 FA Community Shield, coming on as a substitute but then getting sent off.[8] Days later he would rejoin Everton on loan. Francis Jeffers recently came 5th in a poll of favoured Arsenal players by Matthew Spencer of Global-travellers And Pension Guru’s Arsenal Supporters Club (GAPGAS Club). Jeffers has played once, and scored once, for England.

Forward: Nicklas Bendtner- No. Just no.

 

Also nominated were: Alberto Mendez and Sebastien Squillaci.

 

Thanks  @rockthecasbah77  @robbietk94 @Benmania1 @AFC_Fanbase for the replies on Twitter!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*If you are a copyright owner and feel this blog infringes your copyright, please inform me and I will remove it.

Urawa, Urawa, Urawa?

27 Dec

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Urawa, it’s impossible to say, I pronounce it “oo-ar-ya”, I know I’m almost certainly completely off the mark but it made for a good title to the article so all is well.

East-Asia is hardly regarded as a footballing hotbed yet it has some of the most passionate supporters in the world in the form of the fans of Japanese side Urawa Red Diamonds who put many European teams supporters to shame with renditions  such as these.

Thankfully, unlike many youtube videos, which are filmed on calculators the Japanese are extremely fond of very expensive cameras, meaning their youtube videos are pretty good quality, if you can afford to wait 8 years for them to buffer.

A Japanese family gathers for a family photograph.

This supporter cannot hide his anguish as his Urawa concede a 97th minute own goal.

 
 
 
 
 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Worst team in the world win first game (fairly official)

25 Nov

You may ot may not, (more likely not) remember a poll on here a while back in which we concluded that the worst team in the world is the small channel island of Sark, which has a population of just 600. Despite this, according to FIFA which is run fantastically by a wonderful gentleman who goes by the name Sepp Blatter, does not officially recognise Sark as a proper team (technical term). According to FIFA the worst team in the world is the Pacific Island of American Samoa, who had gone their entire history without winning a single match. As you can imagine, it was with great glee that I, along with many a football fan, read of their first victory this week. The victory came against Tonga, whose football team is not quite up to the standard of their rugby (whatever that is) team but nonetheless is guaranteed a place in the history books as the team that lost to the worst team in the world.

On a bit of a side note but still on the subject of minor international teams. Andre Villas Boas, current Chelsea manager, started his management career at the British Virgin Islands National team.

Goodbye.

Awooga!

24 Nov

Hi all, I’m tryin out mobile blogging today so if there any typo’s I apologise!

The first thing I would like to say is that is that it has been a fantastic footballing week, not only was I at Northampton to bear witness to a ruthless attacking display for the Shrews in a 7-2 win, I also made a long awaited return to 11 aside football, in which the opposing goalkeeper was kind enough to delightfully gift me the ball in front of the goal, allowing me to tap it past him into the net for what proved to be the only goal of the game, though I disappointingly hit the bar with a cheeky lob later  i the game when 1 on 1 with the keeper.

Enough about Shrewsbury, enough about me. How about Gala Fairydean? You may be mistaken, thinking I’m talking about some new uber gay bar in Brighton but I am infact talking about the Scottish junior team who were disappointingly hammered 11-0 in the scottish cup.

In other news, Port Vale, who recently apparently recieved investment of 5 million English pounds sterling, have announced the signing of one Guy Madjo, a man who quite happily spent 3 years in Shrewsbury’s reserve team picking up his pay packet, as well as stealing from a local TK Maxx store. Eventually going to play in China (I’m not making this up) in search of first team football, he recently joined Stevenage who soon sussed him out and sent him packing to Port Vale.
Madjo was once called up to the Cameroon national team to replace Samuel Eto’o, who incidentally has joined Anzi Mackakala, a team that trains 1000 miles away from their home ground. Amazing.
Eto’o is also, as you, discerning reader, very well know, the highest paid footballer in the entire universe. According to the multiverse theory my goldfish is the highest paid footballer in an alternate universe.

David Beckham. Don’t get me started, all I will say is it ridiculous for him say he still wants to play England in the same week he categorically says he will not play IN England once his LA deal expires.

Another former England player, Owen Hargreaves, has recovered from an injury caused by a collision with a particle of dust last month but suffered another set back when a weak gust of wind struck him on the knee, he is expected to be out for 6 months.

If you were wondering why this post is titled “Awooga!” it is because I recently discovered that John Fashanu hosts the Nigerian Deal or Deal. I was also surprised to recieve an email informing me I had won this show which is incredible as have don’t remember being on it. Anywho, I sent them my sort code, account number and PIN and they will transfer me the money by Christmas. Happy days.

Some interesting football facts

19 Sep

As you well know there is no discernable benefit to me doing this blog, hence the ridulously sporadic posting of late. Anyhow, on my last post (possibly in June, I can’t be sure though as I know I’ll probably forget to save what I am writing if I go and check) I was posting videos of different footballing cultures from around the world. I have since become entirely disinterested in this and it would be entriely counter-productive if I were to begin trawling Youtube for yet more examples of dancing Greeks (I mean football fans, not…actually I won’t even go there) This paragraph is likely to end without explanation now with no clear link to the next one (sorry Mrs Bolmer!)

One of my favourite past-times is to trawl the 100% factual and error-free website wikipedia, as well as various other websites in the vague hope that perhaps occasionally I may discover something of interest. I will now commence this process and, staying on the topic of football will post anything I like on here.

 

DISCLAIMER: SOME INFORMATION FROM HERE ON IN IS OFF WIKIPEDIA AND THEREFORE IT CAN WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY BE EXPECTED TO BE 100% ACCURATE IN ALL CASES.

 

Kristine Lilly has gained  352 caps for the USA womens national football team in her career which stretches back to 1987 and ended only last year. She has scored 110 goals for the USA. This is in stark contrast to me: I have no caps for the USA women’s national football team.

There are 27 USA women’s internationals with over 100 caps for their country. For comparison: the Trinidad and Tobago men’s team has 2 players with 100 or more caps.

Leicester City striker Ashley Chambers was aged just 15 years and 203 days when came on as a substitute against Blackpool in 2005.  He now plays in the Conference for York.

Until Yeovil gained promotion in 2003, Plymouth were the only team in the football league to wear a principally green strip.  If you yourself would like to look at the colour green simply find some grass.

Kangaroos can commonly be found grazing on grass.

Fort WilliamF.C, of the Scottish Highland League, with a squad of only 16 players in the 2007-08 season, suffered 27 defeats from 28 Highland League matches, running up an extraordinary goal difference of −142.

Plymouth Argyle fans who want to watch their team away at Newcastle United can expect an 817 mile, 14 hour round trip, spending about £155 on petrol. They can also expect to lose.

 

 

Floreat Salopia.

 

 

The 12th Man

18 Jun

A collection of clips of the best set of supporters from each letter of the alphabet, today we look at the letters A to M.

If you only watch a few of these clips make it C, E, F and G!

If you only watch one clip make it E!

If you don’t watch any clips, bugger off!

 

Aek Athens, Greece

 

Blackpool, England

 

Celtic, Scotland

 

Dinamo Bucharest, Romania

 

Eskişehirspor, Turkey

 

Fenerbache, Turkey

 

Galatasary, Turkey

 

Houston Dynamo, USA

 

Iraklis, Greece

 

Any Suggestions For J  and K are welcome!

 

Lech Poznan, Poland

 

Melbourne Victory, Australia

 

 

the £1million a game man.

12 Jun

Winston Bogarde was born on  October 22nd 1970 in Rotterdam, Netherlands. You don’t really need to know that in order for this post to make to sense, but I may aswell give you such interesting facts whilst I am here.

Winston, named after the famous British politician (OK I made that up, but I need to fill this page up somehow) started his career at amateur team Schiedamse Voetbal Vereniging, I don’t know anything about them, and I don’t particularly care so just go on Wikipedia to find out more. (I have inlcuded a handy link for this as the name is right old faff to type)

During his time at Schiedamse Voetbal Vereniging, he was loaned out to a team local to him: Excelsior.

Presumably Winston did reasonably well in his time at these two clubs as he earned a dream transfer to hometown club Sparta Rotterdam, during his time at Sparta they qualified for the presitigous Intertoto Cup (the one below the Champions League and the UEFA Cup which they’ve now stopped)

After three years at Sparta, in which he made 65 appearances and scored 14 goals, Winston moved to the Dutch Giants: Ajax. In his three year stint with Ajax he made 62 appearances, scoring 6 times from defence.

In 1997 he earned yet another big move, this time to AC Milan. However, he decided to break with tradition and rather than his standard three years at a club, he spent just one with AC Milan, in which he mustered an astounding THREE appearances.

This didn’t put Barcelona off though, Mr. Bogarde spent, yes, you’ve guessed it, three years at the club - making a total of 41 appearances and scoring 4 goals. He also won La Liga as part of this team, which given the law of averages is highly likely to happen in three years at Barcelona.

At the start of the new millenium (By that I mean 2000, as opposed to 1000) he attracted the attention of Chelsea’s director of football, Colin Hutchinson, behind manager Gianluca Vialli’s back Bogarde signed for Chelsea on a four year deal worth

Bogarde doing something he rarely did: wear a Chelsea shirt.

£40,000 per week.

Only a few weeks into his contract, Bogarde was told to clear off (not the actual quote) by new Chelsea’s new manager: Claudio Ranieri (Vialli had by now left). However, Bogarde, being canny, knew his four year, £40,000 per week contract had to be honoured by the club, so he stayed with Chelsea until four years later, in 2004. During this time Bogarde had earned about £10,000,000, despite making only brief substitute appearances against lower league opposition in league cup matches, not even taking to the pitch in the premier league for THREE YEARS.

In total Bogarde worked out to have cost over £1 million for each appearance made for Chelsea.

Unsurprisingly, Winston Bogarde took an early retirement after leaving Chelsea, and unlike most retiree’s, he certainly will not be worrying about his next fuel bill.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you very much for reading and don’t forget: the 500th visitor is due anytime soon, so if it’s you, you have won an iPhone / £10,000 . (I am, of course, joking. This ain’t not no scam site! )

Scrambled Egg Anyone?

5 Jun

That must have been the question in the Shrewsbury Town board room as they dicsusssed a design for a new kit:

:O

 
 
Linfield also went with something similar:
 

Typical Irish

 
 
You are probably thinking a football kit couldn’t possibly get any worse than that- this tartan design from Notts County might change your mind.

What were they thinking?

 
Kilmarnock are clearly in touch with their Scottish roots:
 

Giving Notts a run for their money

 
Bad kits aren’t confined to the lower leagues and Scotland, the Mexico National Team proudly sported this one:
 

One word: wow.

 
 
Arsenal really took the biscuit with this zig-zag design:
 

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

 
 
Diamonds really are forever for Hereford United:
 

Sun Valley indeed.

 
I’m not quite sure what Swindon had in mind here:
 

Burmah: Where this shirt is fashionable?

 
This Exeter City kit is truly awful:

Scribbles

 
Huddersfield opted for a fetching chequred number here:

Maybe the designers had too much Greenalls Beer.

Overall, the worst kit has to be this one, from Luton Town, purely for being difficult to look at.

Enough to make you cross-eyed

 
 
Thanks for reading.

At Least It’s Got Good Copyright…

1 Jun

 

A football clubs crest represents  the place of it’s birth  it’s history, the crest of a football club is an instantly recognisable motif encapsulating all that a club is about, a football clubs crest must sit with pride on the shirt above the wearers heart, whether they be a player or a fan. Thus, a football clubs crest must be, above all, good.

But nobody told these teams-

Bolton Wanderers:

This one has me stumped I’m assuming the club initials BWFC are meant to be in the shape of a football, albeit a very poorly designed football, and the ribbons? As any comedian would say: “What’s that all about?”

Nice ribbons.

  Wolverhampton Wanderers:

Cleverly, Wolves decided to move on from this monstrosity, which would have looked the part in the MLS:

However, it was replaced with this “thing”

A Wolves head, apparently.

Fulham  

Fulham opted to move on from this perfectly good heraldic crest:

To this poor excuse of a corporate logo:

Very Historic

MK Dons

It is perhaps ironic that in typing this article I made the mistake (now rectified) of typing “MK Donalds” instead of “MK Dons”. That is because this horrible club are the epiphany of all that is wrong in modern football,  they only exist as  the only way ASDA could get planning permission for a new store was to build a football stadium along with it. Instead of giving the perfectly good non-league Milton Keynes City FC a new home, it was decided they would steal Wimbledon FC and move it 60 miles down the road into Milton Keynes. This was all jolly good for MK Dons, as it was how they were founded, but it meant Milton Keynes City went bust and AFC Wimbledon had to start all the way from the bottom, as MK Dons should have done instead of stealing their club. Their pathetic club also has pathetic padded seats so the viewers (formerly  ”fans”) can enjoy the show (formerly the “match”) in comfort (formerly in a good “atmosphere”) It is perhaps fitting, therefore, that this club also has a pathetic logo:

MMIV, the year two clubs died.

Shrewsbury  Town 

Shrewsbury Town decided  to replace their historic, yet chic,  coat of arms, featuring three leopards

…With this awfully tacky circular design featuring a lions head:

In order to fully comprehend how bad this is simply look at it once superimposed on a piece of free to use microsoft clipart:

 <Shocking

Thanks for reading, and let’s hope clubs begin to learn from these example!

Floreat Salopia.

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